"Because no matter how many people are or aren't here from home, it's still a different life..." Jeff reasoned, looking down at the sand and burying his toes a little deeper in. The waves rolled in and washed out, and Jeff was acutely aware of Nick's presence, despite every attempt at focus. "It's like being in witness protection or something, only with some wonky time warp aspect. I swear, this would make a hell of a movie. But I would've liked it a lot better as that... A movie. Not my freakin' life." Still, his frustration wasn't getting him anywhere, and was probably just going to make things uncomfortable if he didn't stop. "Sorry," he said softly, shaking his head. "I'm not usually like this... Just... I'm struggling with it, Nicky. I know it's gonna be fine. I really do. I'll get used to it and find my way. It's just blowing my mind big time right now. I trust you, though. I'll find my feet with it. Eventually."
The talk about Kurt and tanning brought a smile to Jeff's face though, and he even laughed himself, if only just a little. "I can see him when he first started here... He probably rocked some kind of fabulous hat with a wide brim, and lots of sunscreen, yeah? Oh, yeah... You and cold have never gotten along. Once a Floridian, always a Floridian. Back at Dalton, you used to bundle up in this huge coat, and I swear, you always looked like an Eskimo with your hood closed over your face. It was hilarious. But everybody's going to be different here from home. It makes sense, though. If it were just like home, it wouldn't change anything at all... You might as well just be home."
If he hadn't been listening carefully, Jeff wasn't sure he even would've heard Nick's words. But as it was, he was carefully focused on hearing the other man's voice, and he caught the words before the breeze off the sea blew them away. This changed the whole thing. Jeff had finally begun to slowly make himself realize that he couldn't tell Nick anything about home... That he had to let go for the sake of the man he loved and the happiness he'd found in Jeff's absence. And then Nick had asked that question, and no matter what he'd said then, his face would've given it away. "Don't... don't be sorry," Jeff said quietly, shaking his head. "You don't have a reason to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't... I wasn't here. What were you supposed to do?"
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The talk about Kurt and tanning brought a smile to Jeff's face though, and he even laughed himself, if only just a little. "I can see him when he first started here... He probably rocked some kind of fabulous hat with a wide brim, and lots of sunscreen, yeah? Oh, yeah... You and cold have never gotten along. Once a Floridian, always a Floridian. Back at Dalton, you used to bundle up in this huge coat, and I swear, you always looked like an Eskimo with your hood closed over your face. It was hilarious. But everybody's going to be different here from home. It makes sense, though. If it were just like home, it wouldn't change anything at all... You might as well just be home."
If he hadn't been listening carefully, Jeff wasn't sure he even would've heard Nick's words. But as it was, he was carefully focused on hearing the other man's voice, and he caught the words before the breeze off the sea blew them away. This changed the whole thing. Jeff had finally begun to slowly make himself realize that he couldn't tell Nick anything about home... That he had to let go for the sake of the man he loved and the happiness he'd found in Jeff's absence. And then Nick had asked that question, and no matter what he'd said then, his face would've given it away. "Don't... don't be sorry," Jeff said quietly, shaking his head. "You don't have a reason to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't... I wasn't here. What were you supposed to do?"