etrelibre | [WAVEBOOK]

Looking forward to lunch, babe... It's been mental around here today. Can't wait to relax a bit. ;)

I was just talking to Sirius, he said there has been a crap load of new arrivals in the last few days. Too much to hope Blaine's come for Kurt? How's Kurt holding up, babe? I sent him a text but I didn't want to impose.

He's right there. It's been crazy. But, no. No Blaine. I keep hoping and praying that he'll turn up, but he hasn't. Kurt's... He's struggling. Their anniversary always does this to him, no matter what. He misses him so much... I can't imagine what he's going through. I didn't leave anyone behind that I loved the way Kurt loves Blaine.

Hopefully the real world isn't headed for an Apocalypse or something. I don't know. People I hope might show up never have. At least Ethan came. I dropped around to pick up my jacket I left over there and checked in on him. He was in bed asleep, blinds all drawn. Smelt like he had probably been drinking a lot. Yeah, I guess that would be tough to do that...

God, I hope not. I don't think the island could handle that. But I know what you mean. There are people I want here who aren't, too. Yeah, I know. He's been drinking and smoking... I worry about him. I'm sure it would be.

I just wish Jeff would come. He was my best friend, things have never really been the same without him. I do love this place, though. I know we could end up a hell of a lot worse places to deal with our problems. He's not coping at all this time around, I'm worried too.

I know, sweetheart. I promise, if I see his name, I'll let you know. It really is perfect here. I never want to go home. I just want the people I love to come here. I know. He's getting worse instead of better. It scares me.

Edited 2012-08-27 22:52 (UTC)

Do you think there is anything we can do to help him? Maybe he needs to see a therapist or we can try and talk him into taking a smaller work load? I feel helpless. I wish we could get one wish to bring one person here, and we could ask for Blaine.

You know Kurt. We can try to help, but we're going to end up getting bitchpls'd, and anything we offer isn't going to be what he wants or needs. It'll all just be cheap substitutes for him. Trust me... I definitely feel the same way.

He's just drinking a lot. I just don't want him to get sick. I know how frantic you get when you're worried about him.

I know. That's what makes me nervous. You're precious, you know. I don't know what I'd do without you, Nick.

Same. Only because I know alcohol can make bad feelings worse most of the time. Do you ever wonder where we ended up back in the real world? I just have this feeling Jeff knows a lot of stuff that I don't. He's from years down the track to me. Like, ten or so.

Definitely. It never makes him feel better for long, if at all. I do. I know there are things Puck and Kurt aren't telling me, and that worries me. I don't know what it could be, honey, but maybe he'll tell you soon. At least I hope so.

No, it's not a good therapy method but sometime, it feels like all you have left to fall back on. I know he's trying to numb feelings. I wish I could suggest an alternative for him, but I can't. Do you think we should ask? It's been eating me alive wondering if I should, but I don't know if I even want to hear what some future self of me has done when I did't even get to that bit of my life yet. But then, it has to be weird for him, right?

I know... It hurts so much to see him like this. I don't really know, babe... Part of me wonders if it's worth it to ask... Because if I turned out to be awful or something, I'd feel guilty. But at the same time, I'm wondering if other people are hurting because they feel like they can't tell me things. Probably... I didn't really get here that far ahead of anyone, so I don't know what they must be feeling and going through.

We just need to let him grieve again for now. If it goes on too long, we'll try to stage some sort of intervention to help him.

I'm a little nervous what happened between Jeff and me after I came here. Something sort of went down between us that I never told you about. But it wasn't that I didn't want to, I just didn't see the point in lingering on it when he wasn't here to face it.

We'll have to do something at some point, but he needs to be able to find his feet again after all of this.

Oh? What happened?

We got drunk and slept together. Honestly, I don't even know if he remembers it. I do, I never had the chance to ask him if he did. Right after it, the Blaine thing with the slushie happened, then I was here.

You didn't know then that you swung both ways, did you? Was he your first? God, that has to be hard with it being your best friend on top of the whole thing. And you don't know all this time later... God, that's horrible, sweetheart. I'm so sorry.

Not really. We were young. It was junior year. He was my first, yeah. Honestly, I was really drunk and the whole thing was confusing but I never had the chance to get any closure with it before I was here. Of course, he hasn't ever come until now so I just put it aside as one of those past things that just were but didn't really have an explanation. I came to terms with my sexuality here on the island, but I have no idea what went down for Jeff back there. It's okay. I just really don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Maybe you should talk to Jeff about it? I don't know, and it's totally your decision. But maybe it would help just to get it all out there?

He's from just before Kurt and Blaine's wedding, though. He's a completely different Jeff to the one I left back there. What am I supposed to talk to him about? It's pretty much ancient history now.

Maybe just... ask him how things are between you now? If you still see each other often? Things like that?

I don't know if I really want to know so much. I mean, the me back there isn't the me here, is it? Is it really going to change anything?

Well, no... I suppose not. Then don't ask. It's up to you, sweetheart.

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