[ARRIVAL, TAG PUCK] "Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend."

[gotstarpower]

Who: Mercedes Jones and Noah Puckerman
Where: The beach, just near the resort
Time of Day: Late evening
Open or Closed: Closed

Mercedes heart was pounding harder and more fast in her chest than it ever had. She felt like she was going to have a heart attack, but it was just adrenaline and shock. Total and utter shock. Unlike anything she had ever felt before. There was a ringing in her ears too. She just stood there watching the younger ER doctor adorned in light blue scrubs as he continued to speak, but it was like nothing was commuting anymore. She clung to Puck's side, her fingers sunk into his arm in a vice-like grip as her legs began to feel like jelly. Puck had paled beyond belief. He didn't even look just sick, he looked like he was going to pass out. In fact, it was right that minute as Mercedes dark eyes flicked to Puck's face to check if he was okay, that Puck did just that. He slumped hard in against her and her arms closed around him, catching him before he fell. The doctor reached out to help, but as Mercedes stumbled under the added weight to her legs, she didn't fall to the cold, hard linoleum ground of the Lima Emergency Room, her knees fell to warm sand and the sound and scent of the ocean lapping engulf her senses, capturing the nauseating sterile hospital smell and evaporating it.

A reflexive stunned gasp fell from her lips. It was night time, but the hospital was gone. Puck was gone, the doctor was gone. On god, the shock of what had just happened hit her like a tonne of bricks and horrified sob escaped her and echoed through the sea air. "PUCK!" she screamed out, looking around frantically with another panicked sob. What the hell was going on?

Comments

[alloriginalgradeabadass]

Puck shrugged broad shoulders by way of response, because the truth was? He had no fucking clue why the island didn't bring them Blaine, too. He needed Blaine there, and Kurt definitely did, too. "I don't get it either. Trust me, I've been asking myself that for years. I've been here... A really fuckin' long time. And all that time, I've been wondering why Blaine wasn't here. He was going through so much hell... Everybody says the island has its reasons, but I don't understand them, and honestly? It pisses me the fuck off."

"I wanted to help him," Puck said. "I wanted to, and I fucking tried, and... He wouldn't let me. He told me to go, that he didn't need my help and he sure as hell didn't want it, and I just... Left. I prayed for him every day you know... I kept hoping that he'd find his way." Turning his head to the side for a moment and focusing in on the light of the moon. It had all come down to that. And all he could think of was that Blaine wasn't coming, now. He wouldn't be coming here. He was gone, and that was that.

[gotstarpower]

Mercedes just sat there miserably again, trying to regain her composure, but she just ended up dissolving into tears again. "He's gone... h-he's gone. Blaine's gone. He... I knew it. There was this paleness to him, just the same as when we lost Kurt. You were trying to give him CPR until the ambulance came, but you knew too. We both did, but we didn't give up! We didn't, we tried. If Kurt ever knew we didn't take care of Blaine and save him, he would hate us forever. How can I tell him something like this? Do I even tell him? Is he even going to ever wanna talk to me because I ain't Blaine? I-I miss him. The ache inside ain't ever gone since they took him away. Nothing was ever the same. It was always empty."

She once again tried to brush the tears away, but more just kept coming. "You did try to protect Blaine. You never stopped. He pushed y'all away, and after that he just kept slipping away. You would go visit him in the hospital when he was in, but when he didn't wanna see you, you still sat outside the door of his room on the floor for the entire visiting hours in case he changed his mind. You tried baking cookies, or taking him DVDs of his favourite movies. The times he did let you in, he would just sit there and not say anything or answer you in single word answers. About the only words he would string together in a sentence was remind you to take flowers to Kurt because he couldn't. Kurt's grave was never without fresh flowers. Blaine visited him every day, 'cept when he was in the hospital. And you'd do it too. You'd leave the hospital, take Kurt flowers, and then come over to see me and tell me nothing changed with Blaine's condition. He died inside that day with Kurt. As horrible as it sounds, they both shoulda been taken."

[alloriginalgradeabadass]

Puck felt relatively sure he was going to puke up his guts. The thought of Blaine dying like that made him sick to his stomach, and he just stared at Mercedes, feeling himself want to start retching right there. "He's just... I should've looked after him better, 'Cedes. We could've stopped it..." But even as he said the words, Puck knew they weren't true. They couldn't have stopped it. Their Blaine -- the Blaine they knew and loved, who laughed and joked with them, and danced on furniture -- that Blaine had died the moment Kurt had breathed his last. It only bore to follow logically that his body would die, too... And sooner rather than later if he could help it. "I don't know," he admitted, with a weak shake of his head. "He's... He's not dealing well with people who aren't Blaine arriving here, and I don't know how he'd deal with Blaine's death, either. "I guess I'd say just give him some time, but as far as when and if you should tell him? Fuck, I don't know."

Her words just had Puck losing control of his tears again. No matter what he'd tried to do or what he could've done, Blaine wasn't going to keep fighting without Kurt. He never would, and Puck knew it. He'd known it back then, too. It would only be a matter of time before Blaine just gave up on living at all. But that didn't mean that Puck hadn't hoped like hell that something might change one day, and Blaine might be okay again. "This whole thing's just... It's fucking wrong. What's wrong with this world, that a person can't even fucking get married without some asshole deciding who lives and dies?"

[gotstarpower]

Mercedes just shook her head sadly. "No... no, we couldn't have, Puck. Short of literally watching him twenty-four-seven, he didn't wanna go on without Kurt. Did he try, God bless his beautiful soul. He tried so hard to keep going because he knew Kurt would have wanted that, but he couldn't do it. Blaine was always the sorta guy destined to fall in love just once in his life, and so was Kurt. They got it so damn right the first time that nothing was ever gonna sway it. They could take on the world with each other. Sure, they had bumps along the way when they were finding their feet with dating and being gay, but what couple doesn't have that? Do you... I just... you know Kurt here. Is it gonna do him any good to know, or is it gonna make it all worse?"

She put her hand on her chest, literally feeling a crushing weight of relief. "But he's here..." she whispered with a disbelieving shake of her head. "H-He's here and alive. It might not be home, but that doesn't matter, right? Maybe it ain't quite what our notion of Heaven is, but it's sorta like it? I still feel like I'm gonna wake up any moment and be back in that freezing ER waiting room, hearing that flat buzz of the monitors through the glass walls."

That's when she remembered something, and reached into her pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, unfolding it and holding the items out to Puck. "His wedding ring, his watch, Star of David Pendant on a chain you gave him for his twenty first. You remember it, right? He never took it off. They gave me these at the hospital for safe-keeping."

[alloriginalgradeabadass]

"You know, sometimes I think those fuckers let him live on purpose... Like they knew it would be more merciful to have let him die with Kurt that day." This all hurt so much. He'd missed so much. Quinn had left him and Burt was dead, and now Blaine, too? How fucked up was this whole situation? "I don't really know at all. I wish I did. I think that it might be more than he can handle right now. It's just passed their two year anniversary, and he's taking it really hard that Blaine still hasn't come. I think telling him that he's dead might be more than he can get his mind wrapped around right now without freaking him completely out."

Puck nodded. "Yeah, he's here. And yeah, it's kinda like that, I guess. Except bad stuff still happens sometimes, and you still hurt like fuck when it does. But you're probably not. It takes a while before people get to go back to the real world. Something about having to learn all the island has to teach you, I guess? I don't really know. But I think we're gonna both be here a while."

When he saw the pendant there in Mercedes' hand, he felt like he was choking. He'd given it to Blaine ages ago, after the long running joke that Blaine was an adopted Jew, especially after kicking Puck's ass at dreidel, which Blaine referred to always and forever as Doodle. "Shit..." he finally managed, swallowing hard to keep from completely losing it. "I... I can't believe he was still wearing it."

[gotstarpower]

Mercedes face crumbled a little more in pain hearing that. "How could anyone be so evil?" she gasped, putting her hand on her chest when the thought alone just made her stomach coil and tight cold clench in her chest twist further. "How could anyone want to wish so much misery on someone just because of who they fall in love with? Kurt and Blaine might both be boys, but I ain't ever seen a more perfect relationship. It was healthy, it was caring, respectful, loyal. They laughed and had fun together, they had a passionate sex life. How can anyone think that was wrong and should be destroyed? But not just destroyed... Kurt's life stolen. I-I want to see him. I want to see Kurt," she said tearfully.

She touched her lips softly, watching Puck with Blaine's pendant. "He never took it off. I know you always kinda wished it would protect him if you couldn't be there for him, and he was so touched when you gave it to him. I even remember Kurt joking that it would clash with his Atheism, but he knew how much it meant to Blaine. I don't know if Blaine ever really knew the true religious meaning of it, he just wore it because it meant something to you."

[alloriginalgradeabadass]

"I wish to God I knew," Puck replied weakly. "Maybe if we had a clue what makes people that way, there would be some way to stop it. But..." He trailed off, shaking his head. There was no explanation or understanding for the kind of hate that drove people to the acts of evil that had cost Kurt and now Blaine their lives. It made him almost physically nauseated to think that someone wanted to take Kurt's life from him, and destroy Blaine's like that. Rubbing his tired eyes sadly, he nodded his wholehearted agreement with Mercedes. "I don't know, babe. I remember thinking when me and Quinn hooked up again that if we had half the relationship Kurt and Blaine had, we might actually be okay. But that was... It was out of our hands. We had no choice in the matter. None of us could cope with that. It was too much. You can see him, babe. Just let me let him know you're here first?"

"I prayed for him all the time," Puck said softly, the turning the pendant over in his palm, and staring at it like he might somehow be able to see that this was all just some big mistake in the shining metal. "I thought that if I just prayed hard enough, God would... Would take care of him and heal his heart. But... But how're you supposed to heal something that's dead. Because Kurt was his heart. That's all there was to it." Pausing, he scratched at his head. "He... He gave me this huge fucking hug when I gave this to him, and put it on right then and there, talking about how he was the best gay honorary Jew ever. I fucking miss him, 'Cedes. Christ, I miss him."

[gotstarpower]

Mercedes squeezed her eyes shut and held her hand up. "I can't think about that. I can't think 'bout them being nothing but pure evil and they got all they deserved with life sentences in prison. And you did have the relationship Kurt and Blaine had. When you and Quinn let yourselves have that second chance, you rocked it. You were amazing together. But none of us coped after Kurt was gone and it broke down. But don't ever doubt your relationship was amazing. It wasn't anything either of you did that lost it."

She looked at the pendant in Puck's hand, and her stomach clenched sadly to think that the last time Blaine had worn it, just a short time ago in her time, Blaine had lost his life. He should have been buried with it, but she knew why the medical staff would have removed Blaine's prized possessions. It wouldn't have been know what they needed to do if there had been a sliver of hope to save him. There hadn't been, though. There was a colour and shine gone in Blaine's features when they found him, he had been completely unresponsive. "I thing God maybe listened, babe. I think maybe the only way he could really take care of Blaine was to bring him back home. So he can be with Kurt. 'Cause I don't doubt for a single minute that even after they were both gone, they were together again. Kurt woulda been waiting for him. I know he don't believe in all that religious stuff, but in his own way, he woulda been waiting for Blaine." She gave Puck's fingers a soft nudge. "You should wear for it him. Until he comes, you can take care of it for him."

[alloriginalgradeabadass]

The fact was, Puck was very much on the same page as Mercedes. The people who killed Kurt existed in his mind solely as ruthless, cold-blooded, hateful killers. There was no humanity to them... No goodness to speak of... Absolutely nothing that could redeem them, even in a small way, from the pure evil they had carried out in murdering Kurt, and, in so doing, in taking Blaine's life... Puck's marriage... all the things that had made their lives so beautiful before. "I know," he said softly. "We were so fucking happy together... We were trying for a baby. We wanted to have one together before Kurt and Blaine were ready to have their own, because Quinn wanted to be waiting in the wings as a surrogate if they wanted it... But... When we lost Kurt, she didn't... She didn't even want me to touch her anymore. We lost everything, including each other." Looking out across the darkness of the ocean waves, Puck swallowed to regain a bit of his composure.

His eyes fell back to the pendant resting in his hand. In a way, it felt like it was his little piece of Blaine... The piece of Blaine that would stay with him forever, regardless of whether or not he ever appeared on this island. "Maybe so..." Puck replied, his voice breaking with the urge to cry again. "He was never going to be okay without Kurt. Nothing I could've done would ever have saved him from that kind of pain. He couldn't make it without Kurt. There was no fucking chance in hell." Glancing down at Mercedes' hand pushing his gently, he used both hands to slip the chain over his head, the pendant bumping lightly against his chest. "I've tried for so long to move past this, 'Cedes. But... Fuck, we all lost everything that day. Fuckin' everything."

[gotstarpower]

Mercedes hadn't ever really managed to get the romance thing right in her life. She had a few near misses, but never managed to find The One. Then after Kurt died, she never had the energy to try. She started to think it was just easier to be alone in case you put your heart and soul into something, only to have them torn away from you. She knew what a broken heart felt like, and that hurt enough. She didn't know if she could handle finding love and losing it, plus Lima had been really slim pickings on the guy front. At least, guys who would complete her. It was a lonely life, but at least her heart was protected, right? "You said Quinn was here, but from a different time? Does she know any of this? Did you ever tell her? Maybe you guys can try again? As weird as this place is..." she said, feeling vulnerable and scared as she glanced around the unfamiliar surroundings. Why was she just going along with it? She didn't know... probably the trauma of Blaine's death and the fact Puck was a familiar face. She was willing to cling onto anything right now.

She watched him put Blaine's pendant on and gave a tiny nod. It's what Blaine would have wanted. At least, this would be the second choice after being buried with it. God, she hoped like hell they requested he be buried in that and his wedding ring back home. More tears were coming now, and she put her hand over her face. "How did you just learn to survive here knowing everything back there? How can you just switch it off and keep going?"

[alloriginalgradeabadass]

Puck shook his head firmly. "No. Quinn doesn't know. Not unless Kurt told her, and I asked him not to. He said he wouldn't. It's best if she doesn't. She came from right after her accident, and she's about the same age now as she was when we got married. I'm a lot older... Closer to thirty than I'd like to admit. And she's... She's with Nick now... Who, by the way, has no idea he hooked up with Jeff later on. He just thinks Jeff was his BFF. It's just a bunch of really fucked up, painful shit that I don't think... I don't know how you just tell somebody things like that. How do I tell Quinn that we got married, but she pulled away from me when Kurt died, and now, with what you know, that she left me? I can't do that to her. She doesn't deserve the guilt of dealing with that. She's having a hard enough time trying to help Kurt without feeling bad about stuff that she hasn't even done yet in her life." He shook his head. It would've sounded crazy to anybody else, but once you'd been on this island for a while, weird shit made perfect sense.

Puck reached out to put a comforting arm around Mercedes' shoulders, trying whatever he could to help her work through the pain she had inside. He wished he had a good answer to her question, but there really wasn't one, and he fucking ached all over just thinking about that. "You don't have a choice," Puck admitted weakly. "You either do that, or it eats you alive. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do for your friends."

[gotstarpower]

Mercedes watched Puck quietly, her eyes looking over his face. "That's a hell of a secret to have to carry 'round with you, babe," she pointed out quietly. There was nothing accusatory in it, though. Just merely observational. "Nick? As in Nick and Jeff? He's with Quinn? That's... that's... but they're married back home. I mean, granted, it ain't been a smooth ride, but they're still together. Nothing was ever a smooth ride for anyone after everything. Ain't a single damn one of us figured anything out after Kurt died. I just thought Quinn woulda been more... curious, I guess. 'Bout where she ended up in the future, asked more questions. I guess this place really does change you, huh? And somehow I gotta figure it out... somehow gotta figure out how the hell I can see Kurt in person after I've lived with talking to his gravestone for two years. It was such a nice gravestone too. Blaine had lil silver stars embedded all over it with a tiny gold heart in one corner. But you... well, you know that. I'm so confused right now, I'm sorry..."

Her voice hitched and more emotion tickled in her throat. "I think I need to lie down or something, I ain't feeling so good. This is just... I-I need time. I dunno how I'm gonna do any of this, but I need time."

[alloriginalgradeabadass]

He just nodded, forcing a weak smile. "You do what you have to when you have to protect the people you love. Like I said... There was a weird age gap when she got here. I always planned to tell her if she was still around when she got over, but she hooked up with Nick, and they're happy... Yeah. Nick as in Nick and Jeff. You know, there are times, even now, when his name almost comes out of my mouth attached to Jeff's? Those two belonged together as much as Blaine and Kurt did, and yet, on this island? Nick has no fucking idea. It does... It changes everything. Kurt told her that she was happy where he came from, and I guess that was enough for her. I've kind of kept to myself, other than Mike. He's my roommate here. It's okay. You probably will be a little confused for a while. You get used to it, and you learn to live with it."

Puck nodded quietly. "You can come back to my place if you'd like. Have a lie down in my bed. I'll take the couch, it's no big deal. You'll have your own place, but you might not wanna be alone right now... At least, I know I didn't when I first got here."

[gotstarpower]

It was just all too much. Mercedes brain suddenly felt like it had information overload and like it was going to explode. If she tried to take in anymore, she didn't know what would happen. For now, she just had to try and switch off to collect herself and deal with the shock of Blaine's death. Not to mention the shock of ending up here in this strange place that made no sense. The place where Kurt was alive. It was going to take more time than just accepting on face value.

"Thanks," she said, choked up. She wasn't sure she could handle being somewhere strange and all alone right now. Not after what she just witnessed. She was beyond spooked, and it felt like she couldn't stop shaking. Part of her still felt like she wanted to be sick. Whatever this all was, she trusted Puck not to be lying to her and even if it was freaking her out, at least he was a familiar face. Somehow, this had to start making sense sooner or later.